What do these uni-browed, spotty, pubescent suicide monkeys that ride 'Racing Hairdryers' think they're really riding on: Valentino Rossi's Yamaha?

I can't stand the way they roll towards traffic lights, constantly revving the nuts off the semi-auromatic 3cc engines, nervously keeping the high-pitched engine 'on-cam', to facilitate a better flying start when the lights go green. The resultant noise just opens up a cavity between your fillings and the exposed nerve endings in your teeth, and then makes the hinges of your jaw-bone squeak as the relentless, revving whine rattles through the air-pockets of your cranium. And as for the sight of them 'popping wheelies' on these infernal machines... how good do they think this actually looks?

 

It's a good job that I've aged disgracefully into a hypocritical middle-aged sourpuss who's conveniently forgotten that he used to do exactly the same thing on an equally undernourished moped; the Yamaha FS1-E.

 

 

I know, I know: I'm getting old. Now bring me my Shepherd's Pie and then leave me alone, before I squirt the rest of my colostomy bag at you.

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